Cute And Barfy

This, I already know.
This will not follow a linear path of thought.

Most of what I want to blog about, I end up thinking about first, while driving, or in the shower, or basically doing anything that prevents me from being able to blog as I think it.

Initially, when thinking on my next blog (aka this one)
I was going to start off by cursing you for reading. No, no. Not you. You.
And often times I start off with exclamations of "Jesus Christ!"
But, I try to limit that, as some might take offense.
And then I though about how a week ago instead of "Holy Jesus!" I had said "Holy Cheese Puffs!"
Which started me thinking about different... variations, as it were.
This led me to wonder.
Why do so many people say "Cheese and Rice!"
Wouldn't it make more sense to say "Cheese and Mice!"
No? Pity.

See.
This has nothing to do with my initial reason for blogging.
Partly because my train of thought is ridiculous, and partly because I think that the longer I put it off, the better I will be able to word it. Or, on the other side, the less likely I will post it at all.
Either one would be okay with me.

But since I'm here, looks like it's getting posted.

So why the cursing?

Do I write this like no one is reading?
Or do I write it, like everyone, including you, is reading.
Bah!
Fine.

So I'm a bit smitten.
Which, I'm not gonna lie, I decided to research on Dictionary.com and Thesaurus.com before using.
And while I had an inkling in the back of my head, I most definitely did giggle out loud when Dictionary.com confirmed that it is a derivative of Smite.
Oh yeah.
I love the English language.

But again, I digress.

So I geek out at the little things.
Similarities that are so subtle you almost don't notice.
They make me giddy.
 Keep Calm.


I'm smitten. Just a lil.
This is nothing new. It happens. It's a part of who I am.
But nonetheless, every time, it frightens me.
And why shouldn't it?
Everything new is always so deceptive.
Not intentionally, it's just how it works.
Bugger that.


Ahhhahaha. Oh wow.
I was debating on writing how my heart tends to move faster than my head would prefer.
This concept put an image in my head.
It's like those water-skiers out on the rivers and lakes and such.
Except it's my heart that's driving the boat, and my head that's on the skies.
And my head is in no way a professional. Just scrambling to keep a hold on the rope.
And really, the heart isn't actually friends with head. It just pretended to be, to prank the head later on.
You can see where this is going.

Good thing I'm not afraid of water.

 

Expletives!
I'm completely bonkers. Yeesh.


I'm sorry.
I think too much.
I am way too insecure.
I'll be better in the morning.

I am destroyer, I am lover.

Seriously. Where Are The Dinosaurs Hiding?

Well, then.
I haven't been dreaming as vividly the past few days, so I don't have as much to write about as far as my dreams go.

But I was thinking on it, and perhaps I still am dreaming.
Because I'm pretty sure these things don't happen in reality.
Or at least not my reality.
Though if I'm dreaming, I think I might be okay with staying asleep.

However, I digress.

I had my little moment on the pedestal, regarding proper dates and the like.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing the work.
I think a guy should be worth fighting for.
But it's also a two-way street.

A street that I don't seem to be on, often.
This isn't a ploy for pity. I may not have found a knight in shining armour, but that doesn't lessen the people I've met or the experiences I've had.
I've just always wanted to.. see what's on the other side of the wall, I guess.


Obviously past boyfriends and... etc, have left something to be desired given my current situation.
But that doesn't mean they were entirely at fault.



Quite frankly, as much as I'd like to be fought for, I'm not sure I'm worth the fight.
I'd like to think I am.. so.. moreso I'm just worried that I'm not, I guess.
I'd hate for someone to go to all the effort to "woo" me, and then be like.. "...the fuck is this?"
I don't want to be the human equivalent of a Cracker Jack box.


That being said, yesterday completely baffled me.

In a good way.

I think.
But now I am completely and utterly disoriented, because these sorts of things don't happen.

So I'm just waiting for the dinosaurs to come out and start attacking folks.
Then I'd know for sure I was dreaming.
And it would all make sense.


Until then, just ignore the crossbow and grenades I'm carrying.
They're not for you, they're for the 'raptors.