THIS is how my brain works. are you sure you know me? are you sure you want to?

sometimes i wish i could directly blog from my thoughts.
but i would probably frighten all of you
i often get distracted by the night sky
the vastness of it, the clarity
the infinite amount of stars...
i may be 25, but i still wish upon stars

so okay. this probably sounds normal so far.
just wait.

as the rhyme goes [as i know it]
'star light, star bright,
first star i see tonight
i wish i may, i wish i might
have the wish i wish tonight'

normally, if i see a star, and i KNOW it to be the first star i see, i make a wish.
but recently
i've been having this internal debate
because sometimes, if i don't know which star it was i saw first
i won't make a wish
and sometimes i think,
i won't make a wish because they are probably over burdened with wishes from everywhere
but then i wonder, if maybe it's offensive NOT to make a wish
that they NEED wishes.
yes, i said they.
maybe i have neil gaiman and stardust to blame for that
but if so, only a smidge
but anyway
thus the dilemma rages
so to quell it, at least temporarily
there are days i make serious wishes, and there are days that i make not so serious ones
not ridiculous, mind you
but. ones that, mean less.
i guess that would be the best way to put it.

and this, is what i mean.
who thinks like this?

i mean.
who spends that much time
debating on what is least likely to offend stars
when it comes to making wishes?



and i think
well. at least i don't hallucinate.
or do i??

one of my coworkers started hallucinating at work
beginning of the shift, fine
then came "sorry if i make any orders wrong, my vision is messed up"
an hour or so later "were you just back here? no? i think i'm seeing things..."
two thirds of the way through our shift "what is that fat b* doing with her pants down out there?" ...but there was no one outside
by the end of the shift? "there's a truckload of buffalo out there!"
those are just the main points.
needless to say, that last few hours i was just counting down the seconds until other people started showing up and my shift was over...

but the progression of him aware of hallucinating, to him not realizing what the hell he was saying?
i started to doubt my own reality.
for him to not realize that what he said made no sense
or that what he saw was just in his head
what if i was actually the one hallucinating?
what if i couldn't tell what was actually going on around me?
but this has gotta be one hell of a hallucination to be this long...