time is running out for us, but you just move the hands upon the clock

4 more hours
here's to 2011

i'm ready for a change
but i'm not naive enough to think that a change in digits
will bring that about

by the way, it's kind of hard to write a semi-serious blog amongst the company of friends...
caleb: "ryan, should i use science to freeze my margarita?"
[the night thus far...]

but i digress
i agree with the blog of miss Fabulous Lorraine
i am not scared to speak my goals out loud
if i am going to be 'jinxed' it will happen regardless of what amount of people hear my goals
i feel that by proclaiming what i want of myself and my life
i HAVE to accomplish it

so here goes
i AM GOING TO move to san diego
i AM GOING TO find a job in the music/television industry
i WILL be happy in what i do

that's the gist of it for now
it's more than that, obviously
but there are drunks here
and drinks that need to be drank

one must oblige, sometimes.

flying pancakes? FWAP.
they do not stick to walls, in case you were wondering


OKAY
before i forget

a few resolutions i'd like to make now, before i get distracted

+ i want to get FIT [not skinny. but HEALTHY]
+ i want to save enough money to make san diego happen, THIS YEAR
+ i want to organize contacts so that this years valentine's day is successful!

and here's a few less "important" ones [by other's standards, at least]
+ play more video games. i have a ps3, damnit
+ make a mixtape and mail it to Matthew Gray Gubler. [and for him to actually hear it! and love it!]
              + and also for cecily whose is past due. and wingwong. and many others

okay too many distractions.

CHEERS!

orange crush

some time ago, i dreamt about a kid i knew in high school
more specifically, a kid i had a crush on, in high school
then, i thought, hey!
google knows everything!
maybe he's on facebook!
fail, and double fail.
end train of thought.

until about a half hour ago.
i'm out at the bars with my brother
[the only time i go to the bars here, mind you..]
and right before we leave, in he walks.
the kid.
[or at least i'm 97.4% certain it was him]
but
we were in the process of leaving
and i only knew him casually back in the day
so did i say hi?
not a chance.
fail, and double fail again.
[oh. and he's still not findable on google/facebook]

oh well.

do i really need to tie myself down with the people in this area any more than i have?
i thought the goal was san diego.
SAN DIEGO.

so it must be a sign.

he's still cute though.


not as cute as Panda Bieber though!

this is what happens when your brother gives you a panda hat
and the movie theatre has a life-size cut-out of justin bieber.


no i was not drunk.

'twas the night before christmas...

i decided to put my halloween costume to use!
it seemed like the perfect fit for the night before christmas pajamas!
can you see my excitement?!?


which, you can't really tell in that picture, just how much i am getting into the christmas spirit...
first, there was the green:

then came the red!

final outcome:

just add snow, and it's CHRISTMAS!

okay, i think that's enough of me.

christmas at our house, sans me:

if you look out the window close enough, you may find yourself gazing upon the top half of our penguin TOTEM POLE.
yes.
i said TOTEM POLE.
i love my family.


alright. i should probably get to sleep before santa gets here!

chimney smoke billowing, snowflakes on my lashes...

so, this christmas is coming along quite nicely i think

well, i mean...
okay i gotta rant for a smidge...
stress happens, to everyone, all the time
so, to all you angry people out there:
          get over yourselves.
yes, the few days before christmas can get rough.
but in NO way should you let the stress effect you so much that you take it out on everyone around you.
traffic is worse, shops are more crowded, but you know what?
i manage!
i still let cars in the line in an alternating fashion, i slow down for pedestrians, i make sure intersections aren't blocked for those who need thru...
but MOST IMPORTANTLY, i still know how to SMILE.

see?!?

christmas spirit FTW!

you can't really tell, but there are christmas lights on the garage, and they are on.
coming soon: penguin totem pole.
[you'll know what i mean when you see it]

so it's been hectic.
for example my 13 hr shift yesterday ran closer to 15, cutting my sleep down to 4 hrs before having to get blood drawn and go back to work this morning
BUT
then my sister and her family came over
i only really see them once a year
her kids are growing soooooooooo much.
the oldest is only a year away from driving. A YEAR.
i feel old
but it was nice.
AND AND AND
tell me this isn't the coolest start-of-christmas present ever?

that's right. you can't, because it is!
[ha. made you think!]


PLUS.
my car is fixed.
this is THE shiniest i have EVER seen it.
i swear.
annnnnnnd!
it smells prettier too!

apparently i can fall asleep while attempting to blog
i no longer have any idea where i was going after the car bits
as it is still early and snowy
plus this whole GOING TO work at 8am rather than COMING FROM work at 8am is playing badminton with my head
oooh, a birdie!
ha.

so i shall leave you with this:

MROW.

i think i've got the right idea...

i just need the right motivation?

blog more often, but shorter amounts?
could this possibly be the proper equation?

i could say 'we shall see..' but that is assuming i will have the right motivation
so, really, in all honesty what i really should say is 'we shall see, if we shall see...'
or something.
drat.
i think i hurt my brain a little bit.

anyways, smooshedy car:

from the front it looks like it's missing its front tooth :-/
supposedly it'll done on wednesday?
possibly another 'we shall see' moment...
at least i get updates!

one of many reasons why i should not be a parent:

[i partake in torture methods.]
although, i DID debate getting my own set of antlers in order to match?
[as if that's any nicer to her, haha]


lately i have been mildly, and i do mean MILDLY, trying to contact matthew gray gubler.
via twitter.
yes, i have a mild [okay more than mild] crush on him.
i admit this.
but it is possible to to have hope without expectation
and that is exactly what this is
i would hope that one day i might win!
to get a reply.. so to say...
or even [gasp] a whole conversation
but i don't expect to
he's got such a charming [online] personality that i'm sure he's bogged down will millions of fangirls [and boys?] blowing up his twitter, email and whatever else may exist as means of pestering him
i'm not special, i'm just a "normal" girl.
lady? ha. no we'll stick with girl.
[normal is debatable - as if normal truly exists.. but that's for another day. or never.]
anyways, point is, i'm realistic.

for those of you who don't know who i'm talking about

i'll give you something to reference

although i'm not sure which picture is my favourite...

<-- this.  OR  this. -->

 


anyway, i digress
the whole point of bringing this up
was that i've noticed
i tend to find.. solace? comfort?
in things that are more tangible in theory, than reality...
things that are near impossible to obtain...
and i'm not sure what to make of that...

[so much for more often and SHORTER. ha.]

i'm no good at this

it feels like there have been so many things that have been keeping me busy
but when i go back to think of what has happened over the past few weeks, it doesn't seem like nearly enough to explain my absence

so it goes

i started this blog as a way to meet 'fiends' before the 'gathering of the gods' weekend for halloween
and yet i have still failed to post pictures of that weekend

let's see what i can come up with

i dressed a little out of my comfort zone, because hey. why not.

i was by myself.
no one really knew me.
end result:
penguins and a bit of colour








proof i really went:

because i wanted to post more pictures
but with this load time
it's really not happening






maybe if i got off my bum and figured out how to edit my photos on my computer
that might help
as they are huge initially
some day, sure, i'll get to that

for now i'll just get lazy and not post nearly as many pictures as i had intended



as for other things that have taken up my time
there's been random magic the gathering with coworkers
thanksgiving, of course
my cousin is my doppleganger
i know this, and then i forget, and then i get reminded each holiday.
but it's a good kind of reminder


there's been the fiasco of dealing with a relationship, or what is [or isn't] left of it
it's complicated
it's confusing
but i think the worst is over

i'm single again.
the timing isn't the greatest, as for some reason december has never left me with pleasant thoughts when alone
i am sure there is a reason for it, and i am sure if i took a few moments to think about it i would figure it out
but i need my moments for other sorts of thinking, so i will leave it as is for now
i deal with them, and i get thru is
and then february comes and valentine's day gets here and then i get all giddy again
[ironic, isn't it?]
and when i have the funds, anyone whose address i have gets a valentine and candy
and when i'm poor, anyone who i come in contact with in person that week gets a valentine and candy

annnnnd then
drum roll....
my car decided to investigate the back end of a pickup
just in time for christmas.
not quite the present i wanted to be able to give to myself
but hey. could've been worse, so i am most certainly not complaining.
well i am a little. but i'm grateful nonetheless.
ahh well.

and with that i will advise you of what happens when you ask your older brother for a panda.
you get a panda:

to anyone who finds any of this remotely entertaining:
i love you