Dreams Vs. Reality

I've actually been doing a better job at keeping my dream blog updated, than this one.
Three nights in a row, I've determined when I get home I will post an update.
And three nights in a row, surprise! It doesn't happen.

A few times, I solely wanted to write, to vent.
I've been mad at myself, for my emotions.
I can't control them, I understand I can't, but I dislike it nonetheless.
But as I am typing this, I don't have the momentum in me anymore to vent.
Another day, perhaps.
Ha! Perhaps?!
It's inevitable.
It is the highest amount of impossible, for me to keep my emotions and misconstrued over-active brain in check.

But for now, a few things of notable mention:

I posted on twitter about a fascinating article and video involving a record player "playing" a tree's rings.
Besides posting to the public, I added Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman to it as well. Given their numerous tweets, it seemed something they might be interested it.
I don't know what I actually expected. I figured, if they weren't over encumbered with everyone else in the world that tweets at them, they might read it. Perhaps they might even share it.
I wasn't far off.
Amanda Palmer took my message in its entirety, added her own little comment, and re-posted it.
I don't care how much of a fan-girl this makes me, but I most definitely squee'd.
No, she didn't reply to me directly.
But she took the time to read something I thought she might find interesting, and she found it interesting enough to share.
So I am allowed to squee, damnit.

Earlier in the week, my ex-aunt-in-law? slash friend of the family came over for dinner. She commented on a piece of art that is hanging in our living room.
This one, to be exact:

(The post-it reads: "my mind is not strong enough to keep these thoughts out of my head")
It was my 20th birthday present, from my parents.
Her commenting on it caused a chain reaction, which ultimately led me to dig out other works I have by Kurt Halsey, stored away from when I moved home from Chicago.
Not for lack of wanting them, but so many still need to be framed. So for now, they stay safe in a storage bin.
However, it was a wonderful little trip down memory lane, seeing the pieces that spoke to me and the memories that accompanied them.

Last, but not least, I have finally taken steps on the trek down Doctor Who lane.
Long ago, I made it my goal to start from the beginning - well, initially, the 2005 beginning.
I watched the first episode, and most of the second but it was late and night and I dozed off before the ending.
For the next few days, I kept it in my mind, to watch the last bit of the second episode and continue my journey.
However, it got pushed to the side, and for a short while forgotten.
But! No longer!
I've resumed my adventure, and couldn't be happier about it.
The going is slow, as I have to juggle other aspects of my life, but slow is better than stagnant!
Next up, "Dalek"

Eep!

Clever Girl

Once upon a time, I had the best job ever.
Well. Theoretically.
I worked at Reckless Records.
It wasn't high-paying, but I was happy.
It was the least stressful job I ever had.
However it wasn't enough to keep me within the claws of a grasping Chicago economy.
So I had to move back home.

But to this day, I am proud to have been a part of it.

So when I saw this:
Happy Endings: "Makin' Changes"

I about pee'd my pants.
About six and a half minutes into the show, one of the main characters friend's is shown, and he is wearing a Reckless Records T-shirt.
I jumped out of my seat.
I know it was only something small, but I will always be grateful for that job, and that experience.

So for my sake, go watch that video while it's available. And do a happy dance when you see the Reckless T-Shirt.
And maybe even laugh and enjoy it, because it IS a comedy.


In other news, at the rate I am going I doubt there will be a day I won't have a dream to write about.
Although I wish today the entry would have been blank.
I understand the irrationality behind most dreams.
The worst dreams are the ones that take my fears in real life, and incorporate them into something worse once asleep.
I already know in real life, that my thoughts can be on the ridiculous side. That I think too much, and I fret too much.
I know this all too well.
But then for these thoughts and fears to be sucked into my dream world, where the fantastic happens on a regular basis...
Not cool, brain. Not. Cool.
I don't expect my dreams to be all rainbows and unicorns.
I have my fair share of ravenous dinosaurs quite regularily.
But I would rather dream of a Velociraptor tearing my arm off, than to have my real life fears amplified while asleep.


I can't wait for this roller coaster to take on more passengers.
It's far from over, but at least there will be a small reprieve before it starts the next loop.

Patience, Young Padawan

This felt appropriate, for many reasons.
Plus it's nice to include a picture once in a while.

Looking at past blogs, I've found many things I could bring into this one as topics.
But I don't feel motivated to.

Getting this back up and running, and once again attempting to log my dreams, has left me feeling strangely accomplished.
So minute, but so meaningful.
But now I'm at a loss for words.

(Ha. Impossible, I know.)

If anyone is still keeping tabs, yes, I did finally get my Mirrormask tattoo.
And I still yearn for but am deathly frighten by the day when I move away from everyone I love.
Being alone, is a terrible feeling. Being alone surrounded by others is much worse.

I went to California in July to watch my brother marry the one person I've met who shows promise at handling his "charming" qualities.
And I am so proud, because of it.

And jealous.

I mean, I love my brother, immensely. And I am so happy for him.
But more and more that seems further from reach for me.
I know I am just going thru a phase, and it will pass.
But every time he checks on me, offers to help me.
It comes back. I appreciate his help, and heavens knows I need it.
But what can I do in return? What do I have to offer him?
He is a better brother, than I am a sister.
And a better husband, than I can even be a girlfriend.
We are so similar, and yet so completely opposite.

But enough of that.
I have my struggles.
My love life, my career, my living situation.
But I'm still content.
I have great friends, and although some opportunities are less available than others, I know they are still out there, and I am still seeking them out.
I used to say this all the time, when I would be chided for running late: "You can't rush awesome."
But all kidding aside, it's still true.
I can't just sit and let everything pass me by. But I can't force things to happen, that aren't ready to happen.

And so it goes.
I will patiently pursue a better life.
And one of these days, I hope to be granted such.

Revival and Renewal

The key here, is to be terse.
Unfortunately, a quality that I am highly lacking.

This blog has been abandoned for almost seven months.
Hmm, no.
Not truly abandoned, and definitely not forgotten....
Neglected, more like.

I'm here to remedy that, once again. Hopefully.

Little by little.

Part of me wants to summarize the past seven months, and part of me wants to start with the past seven days.
But right now, neither of that will happen.

At the moment I have two... nay, three goals.

One- Reviving this blog. Slowly, but surely.
Two- Renewing my interest in documenting my dreams. Now in Delicious Blog Form!

And Three- I've more than a few monthly mixes I've left by the wayside.

So here's a few:


June:

all the movements and the moments in the music... from meganagitor on 8tracks.

July:

distance aside, it remains the same from meganagitor on 8tracks.

August:

growing up was never my forte from meganagitor on 8tracks.

I think that's a good start.