Life Is Like A T-Rex

I keep meaning to write, and then life happens.
Sometimes it's legitimate, sometimes I put it off because I can.
Either way, I know if I let it go any longer I'll fall back into not writing a blog.

I'm behind on my dreams as well, but I've at least taken notes.
Just nothing coherent enough to publish yet.

Jenny Owen Youngs happened. I believe that's where we left off...
It was glorious.
It was Aaron's first you-have-to-buy-a-ticket-to-get-in show.
There was an opening band. Well. Half of a band.
New Empires, I believe?
From Australia. Their other half was still in Australia.
I chatted them up. It was lovely.
I love accents.
And of course.
I got a hug from Jenny. I'm all about the hugs.
She is an amazing artist, I'm glad I saw her perform.

And even better, glad that I got to see it with Christine, Sam, and Aaron.
Nostalgia.
Going to shows, and seeing Christine on a regular basis... I most definitely miss that.

This whole weekend was filled with nostalgia.

Fancy bowling was fancy.
New faces, old concept. And new name, "Spiffy Bowling."
However, I drunkenly documented that well enough on Facebook.
So we'll just leave it at that.


I am so unbelievably content with life right now.
I am also unbelievably frightened.
And yes, I say this pretty much every other month week.

I think I am just perpetually waiting for the Other Shoe.

I seem to have this issue for accepting life for what it is.
I talk the talk, sure.
But deep down I still freak out.

Everything contradictory, I am.


I don't have things figured out.
Once upon a time, I was close.
Real close.
But that window closed, and now I wait til it's warm enough to open up another.

Waiting can be daunting.

Especially when an unexpected relationship springs up.
By no means is this a bad thing.
Just.
There's just so much.

It's too new to look too far ahead, and yet.
How else can I figure out my life, and all things it includes, without looking ahead?
Contradictory.

One day at a time.
One.


Yes, I am aware you are reading this.
And yes, behind this calm and awkward demeanor I am silently freaking out.
Contradictory.


But right now I am happy.
Most important of all, I am happy.
Thank you.

oh lordie.

i've all but given up on this site, it seems.
but.
i mean.
social life? or blog?
until i learn to manage the two together, i'm sorry but social life will win.
cause i have been meeting SO MANY amazing folks.
and i wouldn't trade it for the world.
i can't even describe how wonderful of a feeling it is.

hmm what else...
so much has happened i don't even know what to say.
i feel like i need a theme song comparable to that of big bang theory

uhh.

i am still working on california.
it has been a roller coaster
kinda going, maybe not, set a date, oh wait not yet, maybe going, and right now no fucking clue.
ha. maybe it'll change within the week.
i just hope that if i figure out i'm going, i figure it out more than a week before.
and as much as i want this to happen
i can't think about it
because i start to stress at all the people i have to say goodbye to
okay. end of that or i'm gonna do it again.

also.
car wreck, totaled.
still suck at bass.
mirrormask tattoo delayed by car wreck, but it'll happen by the end of july.
new car found, 2 months later.

and let's see. looks like i missed posting about 3 monthly mixes.


march:




april:



may:



have fun with that?

if memory serves me... wait what? i like pudding?

who am i kidding!
but it's okay
i was going to wing it, anyway.

i know this gets old
but i am unbelievably happy with my life right now
and
well looks can deceive.
especially if i'm at work.
at work, true, i go thru the motions
but that's because i know better waits for me elsewhere
in many places
and many forms

i have a bass to come home to!
[and a cat. and family. of course.]
i have great friends!
[old and new]

just a reminder, in case you forgot

which! i've finally named him!
caspian. [or cass for short.]
any day that i don't play him,
i feel sacrilegious...
i'm in love.


so i've been attempting to multitask
on a few different [minute] projects
and
one. well. two of which are presents.
i think it's safe to post the one that's finished.
as i'm pretty sure the person it's for doesn't even know this blog exists.
but even so, it'll be delivered tomorrow...
i suppose a disclaimer wouldn't hurt though
IF YOU SEE THIS BEFORE TOMORROW IT'S YOUR FAULT SO YOU BETTER ACT SURPRISED
<3
okay i think i covered my bases

so yeah. i drew that.
with a pencil.
the full size scan looks a lot better than on here
and the original obviously looks a lot better than both
but yeah.
i don't really draw very often.
i have to be looking at whatever it is i'm drawing.
and i have to have a lot of time and patience.
so.
i'm kind of proud of this.
i know it's not great
but given how little experience i have in drawing
to me at least, it's great
and, hopefully
the recipient likes it as well...

other than that
i know i save some things from the last blog
to talk about this time
and. memory failed.
the only thing i can remember.
is i got the new bayside album, 'killing time'
and i've been making myself hoarse singing along to it

and, it's only appropriate that i included one of the songs from it
on my monthly mix
that's right.
the monthly mix.
and only a day late.
or technically. 2 hours late.
yay!

so.
enjoy?



also, that's not johnny cash on there
those are my buddies!
pretty good, no??

just like a kitten.

so much.
there is so much.

i initially figured that since i've procrastinated enough already
i'd just wait til my end of month mix was due
before i did another post
since it's already been so long
but there's just so much.

i'm probably going to become redundant in saying this
but i'm okay with it
ALIVE
i still am
and i still feel it
and it's great

despite the complications
i am unspeakably happy
with the people that are in my life right now
some have been for quite some time
others, are new arrivals
and i welcome them with open arms

if i actually believed in regret
i may or may not have regrets later on
but
since i don't
i think it'll all work out
one way or another


on a side note
holy postage batman!
i completed my massive valentine's day event
sent out well over 50 valentines to those willing to divulge their addresses
and good gracious
if i didn't break 100 in costs
i sure came close
postage alone was over 80
so
as enjoyable as the task was
it will NOT be a reoccuring event
not like that

i also went out with a friend
the night of
i based my outfit around my socks

there was thai food, followed by drinks at the bier stube
go figure it was a monday night
and do you know what monday nights are at the bier stube?
karaoke nights
somehow
i was tricked into singing
but you know what?
i did it!
and, i didn't even pee my pants!
granted, i wasn't wearing pants....
i don't see it happening again in the near future
but maybe the later future
as i did survive
and it was maybe a smidgen of fun


and finally
[at least for this post]
meet my new baby!!!

he [i'm about 82% sure he's a he] doesn't have a name yet
but you can't force things like these

i went to music-go-round
with every intention of LOOKING at a bass or two
but no intention of BUYING one
not yet, at least
but then
they put him in my hands

and.
well.
it was love.
like when i got my kitty.
once i picked her up
i couldn't put her back down
not until i knew she was mine


so yes
i'm giddy in all sorts of ways
people
musics
BASS
musical people
love
it's amazing

my cat eats hearts. or loses them.

either way, that's not good.
this:

is what i bought.
and proceeded to display on my window.


this:

gives you an idea of what's left.
not much.
the big'n's are just all cat hair'd up and lying on the ledge.
BUT.
the itty bitty hearts? GONE.
COMPLETELY GONE.
i don't know what's worse.
the idea that they are somewhere throughout the house.
or the idea that she ate them.

sigh.

other than my cat's shenannigans
i'm happy.
a lot.
i've lost [a significant amount of] weight.
not 4872937592 lbs, mind you.
but enough for me to feel like i am going the right direction.
exercise, healthy eating, will power FTW!

and then there are other things
that involve happiness.
but the way i tell stories?
that would be a long story.
and to be honest, not all of the story is mine to tell.
so instead.
i will sit here.
and smirk.
and be happy.
and be alive.
ALIVE.

a feeling i hadn't realized i was missing
until i got it back
and you know what?
i don't ever want to lost that feeling again.
and i ESPECIALLY
do not want to lose it without realizing it.


to top it off
i vaguely recall
making a semi-resolution about monthly mixes.
well.
it's a week late.
but.
here's one for january?